her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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