Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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