And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
