Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
