Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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