You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
