Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
