I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
