is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
