Tell her she can't have a vagina
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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