i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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