that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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