U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
