have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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