just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
