The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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