found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
