Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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