How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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