We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
