we have officially lost it.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
