nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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