why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
how drunk are you?
Several
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
