btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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