with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
