and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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