dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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