it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
