i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
