I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
