like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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