After last night, I could never be a politician.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
