There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
