We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
