i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
