"it" just moved
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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