Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
