Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
