The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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