Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
