My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You're like the curious george of whores
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
