So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
