Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
