I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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