If that was your dad, he is hot
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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