After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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