I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
