Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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