Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
