doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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