Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
