did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
